so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
