just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
