I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
