Don't you send me to vm
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
