Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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