Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
