If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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