if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
