wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
