so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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