you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love having hate sex.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
