The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
