Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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