I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...