found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
