Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize