she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
