is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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