she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
