What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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