your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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