That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
