He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
