I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
