y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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