I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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