making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
