Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
