tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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