As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Someone came in the potted fern
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
