So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
