some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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