How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
