remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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