Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to have your abortion
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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