If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
