i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
