Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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