I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
