I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize