god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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