I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You have to summon your inner elephant
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My dick has a subreddit
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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