a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
