the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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