I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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