I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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