Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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