i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
