You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
