I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
