I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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