best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have tasted many bathrooms
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
