i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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