She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
is it fun? or sober?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
