all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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