Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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