I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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