Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
