We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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