i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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