I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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