My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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