I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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