my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
did i just pee glitter
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
