y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
